I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
