i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I am one with the molecules
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
