jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
