Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
