this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
