i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
