when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
