I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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