I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
