ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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