She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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