that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it's like iHOP with fire
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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