I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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