No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
