whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I bet he comes in French.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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