just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
