I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
