Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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