Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
