but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
