No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
