I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
