Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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