Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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