Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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