i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
