I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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