We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
