No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
