I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
