swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
