he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
