if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
