Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
