She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
