Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
