Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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