She's JV to your varsity
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
