I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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