I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
