If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
