Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
