he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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