how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize