the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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