even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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