I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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