a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
