fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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