I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
