i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
